Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
