have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
