the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
