he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
