I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize