can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
