All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
