the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You may now shotgun with the bride
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
