I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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