part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize