Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
