she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize