i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Please don't give away my fajitas
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