I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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