When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
honey bunches of taint.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
