best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
