I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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