dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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