Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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