he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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