put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
