Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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