That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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