dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
