girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize