When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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