Already got asked if we're dating
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
