He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
