Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
