What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
