That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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