oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
