Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
