I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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