Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
