i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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