it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
