Pants 0. Shit 1.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
