We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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