You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I would ride that face into the sunset
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
