You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I enjoy the company of your penis
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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