listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
