she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
