Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
