I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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