You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
