Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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