Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
