U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
