She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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