FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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