none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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