Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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