I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
