Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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