quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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