Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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