if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
