He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There are leaves in my underwear?
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