Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
