if you like me you must not know who I am
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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