i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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