Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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