If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
