Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
