You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
