Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
