my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
