Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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