You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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